Instinct

Instinct is not always as reliable as we are told. Paranoia, on the other hand, is much more abundant. My sex life has gone down hill. It happens after being with the same person for 2 years. Yes, there is still plenty of it, but not the minimum of 4 times a day, anywhere we could, everytime we could kind of sex. We don't have that incessant urge to make love, or even fuck just because we are together anymore. Why do we lose this passion?
My "instinct", I mean paranoia, stems from the loss of intimacy recently. For 3 days of continuous time co-habitating, not one iota of physicallity. In my nuerotic state of mind, I rewind to a time when he was pulling away. In all senses. It was almost over. Just the thought of losing him broke my heart. So now I feel that he has lost love for me again and was ready to pull away.
My stomach was in knots all day Monday. I didn't want to talk to him for fear of him bringing up the talk. I thought if I keep it light and distant, he can't get deep. I wasn't ready, am not ready to go through that again. Then he calls me at work, tells me he is picking up a couple of sympathy cards and a birthday card for my mother from both of us. We are hosting her birthday dinner at his house and made travel plans for the end of the month.
Everytime I get scared, surprises me. Maybe I am not feeling attractive as of late and the lack of sex is only fuel to that fire.