Statistically Speaking

I am. I am a statistic, many times over. We all are, no matter how normal or left of center we aim to be. I began pondering this phenomenon after realizing that every damn commercial, piece of literature, and often times a conversation is led by, or based on statistics. How many are you?

I AM:

The last child
A child born of my father's second marriage
Blue eyed
A child of divorce
A child who was an aunt before I was born
A teenager who smoked cigarettes
A teenager who smoked pot
A teenager who drank alcohol
A teenager who lost her virginity at the age of 14
A teenager who chose to lose said virginity with someone I didn't love to avoid all the drama
A teenager who drove a car without a license
A girl who has shoplifted
A woman who got pregnant out of wedlock
A woman who got married as a result of that pregnancy
A woman who got divorced after 4 years
A woman who has slept with many men
A woman who has had a one night stand
A woman who has experimented with sexuality
A woman who has driven drunk
A woman who has debt
A woman at high risk for breast cancer, statisically speaking of course
A woman who has deliberately hurt someone who has hurt me
A woman who has cheated on a boyfriend
A woman who has slept with a friend's boyfriend
A woman who exceeds the speed limit regularly
A woman who would rather have a massage than sex, sometimes
A woman who eats out more often than cooking
A woman who doesn't always wear a helmet on a motorcycle
A woman who fell in love with a man 20 years her senior
A woman who has very stinky feet
A woman who cries at sappy Hallmark commercials and sad moments in sitcoms
A woman who has taken anti-depressants
A woman who is pro-choice 100%
A woman who is conflicted by organized religion, but completely believes in God
A woman who supports our troops, because they are OUR troops
A woman who believes all of the illegal immigrants should be shipped out
A woman who feels that fighting is unnecessary, calmly talking will resolve things
A woman who believes that domestic violence laws are too lenient
A woman who has been sexually violated
A Statistic

Opinions and Assholes

Opinions are like assholes: everybody has one. I have many. I have many opinions about many things. Ask anyone who knows me. Some would call me wishy-washy. Others would say I just don't know what I am talking about. Both are very true at different times.

Thunder has criticised me for being "less than civic minded". I haven't voted in several years. It's not that I don't care. It just gets so exhausting trying to decypher all of the truths, lies, propaganda and bashing that is shoved down our throats non-stop for a matter of months. I change the channel on the TV and radio anytime one comes on. I don't want to hear it. If I am going to "be" informed, it will be of my own research.

Even if you think you have made the choice for the "lesser of two evils", it doesn't matter. Your voice is mute. All our voice is good for is choosing one of the masses to elect yet another of the masses to one more single person to vote for the ultimate power: the President of the United States of America. Do I trust these people? Hell No! Do you? Look at the downfall right now. We have representatives attempting to entice or hook up with underage boys. All the while his buddies in Congress are trying to convince the voting public that his actions were either not known or weren't that bad. It depends on what time of day their press conferences and interviews are scheduled. It is pathetic.

Then you have a country of average people like you and me discussing the situation endlessly with all of our knowledge and opinions. I am tired.

I quit watching the news because here in the beautiful city of Cincinnati, OH the murder-a-day requisite is numbing us all to the fact that young men and women are killing each other mercilessly out of spite, for many reasons. When a report comes out that this one will begin his/her trial or is being arraigned for a murder committed months ago, unless it was one more heinous, vulgar, and pressworthy than the succeeding slayings, I have already forgotten about it.

It is not because I am apathetic. It is merely a fact that one just runs into another anymore. Personally, if the drug dealers and thugs who get dissed are killing each other, then so-be-it. More power to them! It helps my tax dollars if I am not paying to house the crazy sonsofbitches! The problem occurs when there are children or innocent bystanders who were in the wrong place at the wrong time are killed.

I also am of the opinion that the death penalty needs to be enforced way more often than it is. And, when sentenced to death, the inmates are limited to one year for appeals. Then BANG! Buh-Bye! See you in hell!

I have had enough ranting for one day. I have to go read about the latest murder in my town!

Instinct

Instinct is not always as reliable as we are told. Paranoia, on the other hand, is much more abundant. My sex life has gone down hill. It happens after being with the same person for 2 years. Yes, there is still plenty of it, but not the minimum of 4 times a day, anywhere we could, everytime we could kind of sex. We don't have that incessant urge to make love, or even fuck just because we are together anymore. Why do we lose this passion?
My "instinct", I mean paranoia, stems from the loss of intimacy recently. For 3 days of continuous time co-habitating, not one iota of physicallity. In my nuerotic state of mind, I rewind to a time when he was pulling away. In all senses. It was almost over. Just the thought of losing him broke my heart. So now I feel that he has lost love for me again and was ready to pull away.
My stomach was in knots all day Monday. I didn't want to talk to him for fear of him bringing up the talk. I thought if I keep it light and distant, he can't get deep. I wasn't ready, am not ready to go through that again. Then he calls me at work, tells me he is picking up a couple of sympathy cards and a birthday card for my mother from both of us. We are hosting her birthday dinner at his house and made travel plans for the end of the month.
Everytime I get scared, surprises me. Maybe I am not feeling attractive as of late and the lack of sex is only fuel to that fire.

Is Robbing a Bank Such A Bad Thing?

So I am officially a bank robber. Well, ok not really. Today the rent is due. My crooked landlord owns the meter, refuses to let us have our own electric bill, and doubles the charge this month. I did not budget for this unexpected expense.
I am balancing my checkbook to see exactly how much dough I will have to live off of for the week. Using these handy-dandy bank websites to verify all the checks, charges, and withdraws, I come accross several charges I hadn't accounted for. They aren't bogus, just forgotton. Shit. I thought I used my other card for these several items. Well the bank didn't just magically retrieve all my information from another credit card, assume the charges and post them to my account. Totally my fault. If I write this check today, it will bounce.
This is where what I refer to as creative banking comes into play. As I am balancing, I notice two checks to the same after school day care agency for my son have not yet cleared. Woo Hoo! This is $155. So if I pretend that these were never written, I can use this money to cover my rent check.
How do I know that this will work? Again, my genius is revealed. If I mail the rent check tomorrow, it won't be recieved until Wednesday with the holiday. Then by the time it goes to thier bank, gets posted, then over to my bank and posted to my account, it will be next friday and my direct deposit will have kicked in. In the worst case scenario, the check posts a day before I am ready for to, and I have to pay one day's overdraft fee. $25 is worth it for me to not lose my house.
So, yes, essentially I am robbing the bank, but in reality I am just borrowing from myself. The bank, unbeknownst to them, are acting like a ChecksCashed shop. Just without the fee!

So this weekend I am off to see The Marshall Tucker Band and Georgia Sattelite play. I am excited! I may not have reached thirty yet, but most of my taste in music is older than me. After that Thunder, that is the boyfriend, and I will drive up to Chillicothe for the huge motorcycle rally. Probably lots of beer and tits! What better way to have a party? Who knows, mine might make thier debut for a motorcycle rally! Anyone who knows me, knows I am not shy about whipping them out! It will be wild!!
Well I am off! Next post will be post-concert and post-Chillicothe!

P.S. Thunder is not a given bad-ass Harley name. I have always called him that since one of my friends refered to him as "The Bald Thunder"

I am here!

So I am officially a blogger now. I'm here world! How are ya? This is my forum. I speak my mind, and all too often people don't appreciate it. I could have just posted my thoughts on my MySpace page, but again, they would probably offend someone. Here, I can remain anonymos. Oh yeah, forgive me because I can't spell for shit!
I will vent, cry, gush, confuse, be confused, love, hate, question, answer, and just "be" here! This is all I have for today. I will be back tomorrow. Nice to meet you world!!