Instinct

Instinct is not always as reliable as we are told. Paranoia, on the other hand, is much more abundant. My sex life has gone down hill. It happens after being with the same person for 2 years. Yes, there is still plenty of it, but not the minimum of 4 times a day, anywhere we could, everytime we could kind of sex. We don't have that incessant urge to make love, or even fuck just because we are together anymore. Why do we lose this passion?
My "instinct", I mean paranoia, stems from the loss of intimacy recently. For 3 days of continuous time co-habitating, not one iota of physicallity. In my nuerotic state of mind, I rewind to a time when he was pulling away. In all senses. It was almost over. Just the thought of losing him broke my heart. So now I feel that he has lost love for me again and was ready to pull away.
My stomach was in knots all day Monday. I didn't want to talk to him for fear of him bringing up the talk. I thought if I keep it light and distant, he can't get deep. I wasn't ready, am not ready to go through that again. Then he calls me at work, tells me he is picking up a couple of sympathy cards and a birthday card for my mother from both of us. We are hosting her birthday dinner at his house and made travel plans for the end of the month.
Everytime I get scared, surprises me. Maybe I am not feeling attractive as of late and the lack of sex is only fuel to that fire.

Is Robbing a Bank Such A Bad Thing?

So I am officially a bank robber. Well, ok not really. Today the rent is due. My crooked landlord owns the meter, refuses to let us have our own electric bill, and doubles the charge this month. I did not budget for this unexpected expense.
I am balancing my checkbook to see exactly how much dough I will have to live off of for the week. Using these handy-dandy bank websites to verify all the checks, charges, and withdraws, I come accross several charges I hadn't accounted for. They aren't bogus, just forgotton. Shit. I thought I used my other card for these several items. Well the bank didn't just magically retrieve all my information from another credit card, assume the charges and post them to my account. Totally my fault. If I write this check today, it will bounce.
This is where what I refer to as creative banking comes into play. As I am balancing, I notice two checks to the same after school day care agency for my son have not yet cleared. Woo Hoo! This is $155. So if I pretend that these were never written, I can use this money to cover my rent check.
How do I know that this will work? Again, my genius is revealed. If I mail the rent check tomorrow, it won't be recieved until Wednesday with the holiday. Then by the time it goes to thier bank, gets posted, then over to my bank and posted to my account, it will be next friday and my direct deposit will have kicked in. In the worst case scenario, the check posts a day before I am ready for to, and I have to pay one day's overdraft fee. $25 is worth it for me to not lose my house.
So, yes, essentially I am robbing the bank, but in reality I am just borrowing from myself. The bank, unbeknownst to them, are acting like a ChecksCashed shop. Just without the fee!

So this weekend I am off to see The Marshall Tucker Band and Georgia Sattelite play. I am excited! I may not have reached thirty yet, but most of my taste in music is older than me. After that Thunder, that is the boyfriend, and I will drive up to Chillicothe for the huge motorcycle rally. Probably lots of beer and tits! What better way to have a party? Who knows, mine might make thier debut for a motorcycle rally! Anyone who knows me, knows I am not shy about whipping them out! It will be wild!!
Well I am off! Next post will be post-concert and post-Chillicothe!

P.S. Thunder is not a given bad-ass Harley name. I have always called him that since one of my friends refered to him as "The Bald Thunder"